||[Mar. 24th, 2009|09:38 am]
a single hungry grasshopper
Yesterday, dianajoyz suggested that the most attractive thing to jameel was being covered in bees. Since we already know that jameel enjoys large derriers and will not prevaricate, and then it was suggested that I was in fact covered in bees, I announced that:
My attractiveness is over 9000!
Leading to a further discussion that:
Wow. That's...nine ships.
Nine fleets of ships.
And then the very funny poeticruse gave us this stunning diatribe:
Still not quite right, unless a fleet is precisely 1,000. It would be
9,000 ships. The correct SI unit of attractiveness/hotness is the
Millihelen, which is sufficient to launch 1 ship. Presuming that
Laura, in her woeful imprecision about units (cursed mathematicians!),
meant 9000 mH, then that's 9 Helens (which is just ludicrous, on its
face. No recorded values exceeding 1.5 Helens have been verified by
Note that the Millihelen is an discrete unit. One cannot launch half a ship.
The Desk-To-Low-Orbit measure, which is actually a percent likelihood,
is more precise in sub-Helenic hotness levels, but has the
disadvantage of being capped at 100 and often exceeded, making it
useless for measuring super-Helenic values.
Modern attractivologists have suggested the
but it is controversial. Counterarguments to the MIAWTWJTBTMTFDAYD
- Differing attitudes toward physical fitness in different nations
- The inability of forensic attractivologists (in partnership with
archaelogists) to establish, beyond dispute, the location of Troy and
thus the exact distance Menalaus was willing to walk, and whether it
was for the purposes of falling down at Helen's door, or stabbing her
for being kinda a ho.